


Of Haircuts and Shenanigans

by Captain_Kiri_Storm



Series: Tales of the Fairest Lady [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Chaos, Clone Trooper, F/M, For a Friend, Gen, Haircuts, Humor, Silly, Swift Gets As Good As He Gives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-07-15 03:56:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7206737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Kiri_Storm/pseuds/Captain_Kiri_Storm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skyler gets tired of Swift's questionable personal hygiene skills and makes him get a haircut. Chaos ensues</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Haircuts and Shenanigans

Swift was rather proud of his long, dark hair. He'd grown it out to his shoulders in a fit of spite against his former Masters. Not that they had cared enough to make him stop or cut it. Swift was just another labor slave. All his Masters had cared about was his ability to work. Alphas were incredibly pain tolerant. So Swift hadn't screamed when his Masters played some twisted game with his bound body. All those little torture games didn't work on a surly Alpha Trooper.

Hence why they left him to waste away in the fields, not be... ** _used_**...in the house.

Now that he was aboard the _Fairest Lady_ , Swift was finding that his long (and occasionally lank) pissed the hell out of Captain Skyler. She didn't like the long hair. She might have let Jack keep his dreadlocks (honestly, he was cute and one of the best natured men Swift had come across so it wasn't a surprise), but Swift's long hair had to go. In fact, Skyler had cornered a new normal, Sniper, and shaved his head to the scalp. In all fairness, Sniper _reeked_. He was filthy and he didn't get in the habit of taking care of himself. His hair _shone_ with grease.

In an effort to garner points with Skyler (and not get thrown out of the crew), Swift had grabbed Sniper and held him down whilst Skyler gave him probably the first bath he'd had in years. Of course, Sniper wailed and cursed and acted the fool. Swift had avoided the thrown elbows. But it suddenly wasn't funny when _Swift_ was the one to go poking around through the grocery bags. One: they now had _two_ sets of hair shears. Two: purple hair dye. And Swift knew that neither of the Captains wanted to dye their hair anytime soon.

All of a sudden, Sniper's buzz cut wasn't as funny anymore.

The big Alpha Trooper sighed as he grabbed the other bags. He tried not to notice the oatmeal raisin cookies (his favorites) or the other assorted food items, They were feeding an Alpha Trooper, six ARC Troopers, two Zabraks, a Jedi, seven normals, and the lone Sith/Smuggler. So, yeah, they went through a lot of food. And certain clones (like Slick) had to have special foods because they had weak systems.

Skyler must have caught him snooping, because... "Quit snooping, will ya? We need to get this stuff packed!"

"My apologies, Captain." Swift nodded his head and grabbed two other bags. Cookies later, maybe...? Anyways, Skyler and Jay had gotten enough food for two weeks, as was the norm. With snacks. Swift liked snacks.

"Oh, and Swift?"

"Hmm?"

"You've gotta lose the hair." Skyler gestured to the mess in his face.

"So?" Swift shrugged. He was an Alpha. He was _twice_ Blaster's weight.

Skyler rolled her eyes. "Don't be so stubborn! It looks nasty!"

"And, unlike the Greasy Ewok, I take regular showers," Swift argued. Sniper was known to go a _week_ without washing. Swift turned his back to her before getting the other supplies. The Alpha liked eating. Especially those flavored corn chips Blitz stashed in his room.

"Yet it still looks bad." Skyler put her hands on her hips before kicking a stool into the galley. "You look like that guy we saw on the holo last night! The evil one!"

"I'm not greasy!" Swift protested. He reached up and touched his mane only to find that...he was. Great... They called Sniper the Greasy Ewok. It was likely the man hadn't had access to personal supplies for several years or water was scarce. Like a lot of slaves, Sniper had come infested with fleas and lice. There was a _reason_ why Bryn had the foul smelling spray that killed lice.

"You want me to turn it purple, too?" Skyler warned. "I am cutting your hair."

Swift leaned against the counter. "No, you are _not_."

"Yes, _I am_." Skyler leaned forward. A little too late, Swift remembered that she had the Force. "Sit."

Swift sat his butt on the stool. Wasn't this misuse of the Force or something? Skyler offered him a sly smile and Swift mentally told her to piss off. He got a cuff upside the head for that one. The Sith woman grabbed a box of cookies from above the refrigeration unit and stuck it in his hands. Swift rather pointedly looked away.

"Now. Either you can sit here and eat cookies, or you can jerk around." Skyler grabbed the supplies (including the dye. Swift tried to ignore _that_ ) and started to get to work. Swift flinched every time the shears did a pass down his head. Why did Jack get to keep his? It just wasn't fair! "If you jerk around, my hands might slip and I'll slice your neck."

"I'll be still," Swift rapidly said. He'd felt enough pain in his life. As soon as his hair was lying in chunks on the floor, Skyler took the dye.

"This is for being an ass. It washes out after...a month?" Skyler guessed. Swift didn't feel encouraged. He gritted his teeth and tried to look at the floor. Several humiliating minutes later, Skyler washed her hands off in the sink and grabbed a mirror. Swift took it. He was _burning_ on his face.

The sides of his head were purple. Bright, shiny, **_purple_**. And it was short--

He whipped around, gaping at her. "You--!"

"Be nice, or it'll be pink." Skyler just offered him a smile.

Sniper gave Swift a cheery wave as he trooped in beside Jay. The ARC looked like he was trying not to laugh.

"How does it feel now?" Sniper sweetly asked.

"I hate you," Swift muttered.

Sniper shrugged and grabbed an apple from the bin. "You hate _everybody_!" He took a big crunch, snickering a little as he did so. "Doesn't really mean anything to me."

"I think he looks handsome," Skyler shrugged.

Swift went about as red as a sun burned Hutt. No...he wasn't shy at all! But to have someone flat up tell him... Well... He wasn't used to it? Maybe that counted? Hopefully. Somewhat sort of?

_Kriff it._

"You...do?" Swift gave her a long look.

"Yep. Now finish unloading groceries whilst I get ready to deal with the dockers!"


End file.
